I feel pretty

I feel pretty...
I feel pretty...
I feel pretty and witty, and...

Last night I had a revelation. With a very respectful nod to Sal Iacopelli (author of Love Sal, Letters from a Boy in the City - one of my favorite books ever)... Are you ready for this life-changing statement?

I am really, REALLY GAY.

My friend/roommate Mike and I had a similar revelation while having brunch in this same exact spot a few years ago, but last night I just felt, I don't know... gayer.

I was having dinner at Harvey's on Castro, a gay restaurant named after a gay icon (Harvey Milk). The cafe sits on 18th and Castro, arguably the gayest intersection in the gay neighborhood in the gayest of gay cities, San Francisco. I had prime seating at the corner window table, the best possible place to cruise other gay men walking by. I was drinking a "Bloody Maria Callas" a deadly strong Bloody Mary concoction named after the operatic icon (opera, gay, hello?) while reading the Bay Area Reporter, a local gay newspaper. At some point in the last few years, Harvey's got rid of all the gay memorablia on their walls and now has rather mundane art. We used to call Harvey's "The Gay Hard Rock Cafe."

Christina Aguilera (a gay diva if there ever was one) was pounding from the speakers.

I live in a gay neighborhood, most of my friends are gay, I shop at a gay grocery store, get my hair cut at a gay barbershop, work out at a gay gym, get massages at a gay spa, eat in gay restaurants, read gay books and magazines, buy toothpaste at "Gay Walgreen's" (across the street from the aforementioned gay cafe Harvey's), support gay politicians and gay causes, and of course socialize in gay bars.

My favorite sports are figure skating and gymnastics. I choreographed flag routines for a living for the better part of 20 years. I'm counting the days till Dreamgirls-the movie comes out. One word: Gay!

I write for a gay travel magazine, and when I do travel, it's usually to go to gay pride events, gay restaurants and gay clubs. I usually "stay" in gay hotels in gay neighborhoods. (In gay-speak "stay" = "shower, change outfits and occasionally nap between gay circuit parties"). My entire family knows I'm gay. Hell, anyone I come into contact with knows I'm gay.

I had lunch with my dear friend Trina, who lives in the Castro and has more gay boyfriends than I do. My sister is visiting soon - she introduced me to my first gay person in the mid-70s and a slew of fabulous drag queens in the 80's. Her favorite spot in this city is AsiaSF, where Asian transsexual waitresses perform for primarily gay customers. I'm cutting out of work early today to hit happy hour at a gay bar, and tomorrow I'm going to a gay bowling event. My gay agenda on Sunday may include a trip out to Mill Valley to visit with my friends Ryan and Shannon (both gay).

Good Lord that's a lot of gaity. As Rosanne Barr once said to her gay boss (as hilariously portrayed by Martin Mull), "You couldn't be any gayer if your name was Gay Gayerson."